It all started out with an offer to send some matchbooks "across the pond." Back in mid-January, Julian Baker--Matchbook Story's first international registrant and first "Pick of the Week" winner--kindly posted a glowing review of MBS on his excellent blog, Sybawrite (sybawrite.wordpress.com). Wanting to thank him and (let's be honest here) extend MBS's readership, I proposed sending some matchbooks to England. No problem, right? Wrong. My journey into the jungles of international haz mat shipping began with the United States Postal Service. I found this in section 344.21 of their Domestic Mailing Manual:
"Strike–anywhere matches are nonmailable in international mail and domestic mail. Safety matches (book, card, or strike–on–box) are nonmailable in international and domestic mail via air transportation."
OK, I thought: No USPS; I'll try UPS. I tracked down their AIR FREIGHT TERMS AND CONDITIONS OF CONTRACT (“TERMS”) FOR UPS AIR FREIGHT SERVICES IN THE UNITED STATES, CANADA, AND INTERNATIONAL and found their No-No list, which didn't mention safety matches, but listed some other awfully unsavory characters. Some make sense, others don't (to me, anyway). These interested me the most:
-Corpses or cremated or disinterred remains
-Live animals (including birds, fish, reptiles, or insects), except mice, rats, toads, frogs or leeches destined to or originating from medical laboratories within the United States or Canada.
-Stringed instruments including, but not limited to, violins, violas, cellos, bass violins, guitars, mandolins, or banjos (unless strings are removed prior to shipment).
-Fissile radioactive materials.
-Nursery stock or plants
-Fish meal.
-Cosmetics.
-Jewelry.
-Furs.
Wow. I found the phone number for UPS's Hazardous Materials Support Center (1-800-554-9964, in case you need it) to ask about my matchbooks. The operator informed me that international law prohibits everyone (USPS, UPS, FedEx, et. al.) from shipping matchbooks via air transportation. "So the only way to get these matchbooks to England is on a boat?" I asked.
"Try freight forwarding," she said.
"What's that?" I said.
"Look in your phone book," she said, and hung up.
A Freight Forwarder, according to Wikipedia, is "a third party logistics provider [that], as a non asset-based provider, dispatches shipments via asset-based carriers or otherwise arranges space for those shipments. Carrier types include waterborne vessels, airplanes, trucks or railroads." Huh? No wonder the operator didn't want to explain. Basically, a freight forwarder is a shipping company that doesn't own/operate its own transportation fleet, staff, etc., but instead arranges with real shipping companies to get your stuff where it needs to go. Think of it as a travel agent for packages. My phone book listed Sky2C (get it?) as the freight forwarder in my area. I called and explained my situation. "OK. Lemme forward you to Maggie. She's the one who handles international shipping via the sea."
The line clicked over and started ringing. And ringing. And ringing. I left a message. A day later, Maggie returned my call about "shipping a mattress."
"I'd like to ship some matchbooks to England. Not a mattress. I understand that international law prohibits the transport of flammable solids via air."
"Yes, that's correct."
"So I need to get the matchbooks to England on a boat."
"How many?" she asked.
"Less than a cubic foot. A small package."
"To London?"
"Yep."
"That'll run you roughly $450. I'll have to check with customs on their procedure for shipping flammables, OK?"
"No, thank you. Don't bother." I hung up.
Alas, I was "dead in the water," so to speak. Sorry, Julian. I tried. We'll have to wait for that trans-Atlantic tunnel.
Neither snow nor rain nor heat nor gloom of night stays these couriers from the swift completion of their appointed rounds.
Unless they're carrying matches.
-kp
Friday, February 12, 2010
Monday, February 1, 2010
"Pick of the Week" Archive - February 2010
HERE'S T' YOU
That bottle told the cops. I said she’d be back, but they’d found the body and then me, drinking her bubbly. What I’d shot was shot already, though, before the gun, back when she said, “Y’re dead’n’gone f’ me” and raised a fluted glass with that sharp-ass smile beneath the eyes I’d fallen into once.
--T.C. Marshall, Felton, CA
__________
TRAIN TRACKS
I could kill that bloody bird. I imagined tying it up and leaving it by the cat flap just like a villain trussing up a heroine and leaving her on the train tracks. When I returned I found it in three neat pieces. I stared at the cat flap. I was standing by the tracks. There was blood on my hands.
--Richard Ross, San Francisco, CA
__________
CENTRAL LOCALE
They left me at the place of impact. With the electrons swirling around the center, she yelled back "Must you always be so still when we crash."
--Fish Fishtofferson, Alameda, CA
__________
FOR YOUR GRANDMOTHER
Your grandmother does not like Calvino. She is letting you know this right now. “You’ve read Calvino?” you ask, frankly amazed. She has. In fact, unbeknownst to you, she started reading your copy while you were sitting right there at the kitchen table, line editing a story.
--Megan Fitzgerald, Scotts Valley, CA
That bottle told the cops. I said she’d be back, but they’d found the body and then me, drinking her bubbly. What I’d shot was shot already, though, before the gun, back when she said, “Y’re dead’n’gone f’ me” and raised a fluted glass with that sharp-ass smile beneath the eyes I’d fallen into once.
--T.C. Marshall, Felton, CA
__________
TRAIN TRACKS
I could kill that bloody bird. I imagined tying it up and leaving it by the cat flap just like a villain trussing up a heroine and leaving her on the train tracks. When I returned I found it in three neat pieces. I stared at the cat flap. I was standing by the tracks. There was blood on my hands.
--Richard Ross, San Francisco, CA
__________
CENTRAL LOCALE
They left me at the place of impact. With the electrons swirling around the center, she yelled back "Must you always be so still when we crash."
--Fish Fishtofferson, Alameda, CA
__________
FOR YOUR GRANDMOTHER
Your grandmother does not like Calvino. She is letting you know this right now. “You’ve read Calvino?” you ask, frankly amazed. She has. In fact, unbeknownst to you, she started reading your copy while you were sitting right there at the kitchen table, line editing a story.
--Megan Fitzgerald, Scotts Valley, CA
Sunday, January 31, 2010
Southland Distribution Odyssey
Hi, All!
Below is a timeline of the L.A. distribution run. I made it, but just barely...
Friday, 1/22/10, 8:00 PM: after driving 6.5 hours on the 101S through intermittent rain, arrive in Los Angeles on 3 cylinders, -2 windshield wipers, and 0 heat.
Saturday, 1/23/10, 10:00 AM: car won't start; enlist friend (and friend's car) to distribute matchbooks throughout city.
10:00 AM - 6:00 PM: distribute matchbooks to the following stores:
Skylight Books
Counterpoint Records & Books
Book Soup
Stories
Metropolis Books
Sunday, 1/24/10, 11:00 AM: return to car, install new spark plugs; car still won't start.
11:00 AM - 6:00 PM: check/adjust the following:
distributor and rotor
points and timing
valves
gas and carburetor
battery
No dice.
Monday, 1/25/10, 6:55 AM: call supervisor, inform that I'm stranded in L.A. and won't make work.
7:00 AM - 8:00 AM: panic, ask myself, "In order to get home today, do I...
a) buy new parts, install, and maybe solve car problem, or
b) tow car to mechanic and let the experts do their thing?
9:30 AM: tow car to E&C Motors in Reseda.
10:30 AM - 11:30 AM: stump veteran VW mechanic with mysterious car problem, think, "Will I ever get home?"
11:30 AM: try last possible solution--car STARTS!
11:30 AM - 6:OO PM: after driving 6.5 hours on the 101N through intermittent rain, arrive home on 4 cylinders, -2 windshield wipers, and 0 heat.
Big thanks are sincerely given to the following friends and saviors:
Owen & Emily, for cool-headed advise, a blow-up mattress, and whiskey.
Rob & Anat, for transportation, navigation, conversation, and libation.
Leagh, for cellular roadside assistance.
Brandon, for cellular roadside assurance.
Natalie, for holding it all together.
Keep On Keeping On,
-kp
Below is a timeline of the L.A. distribution run. I made it, but just barely...
Friday, 1/22/10, 8:00 PM: after driving 6.5 hours on the 101S through intermittent rain, arrive in Los Angeles on 3 cylinders, -2 windshield wipers, and 0 heat.
Saturday, 1/23/10, 10:00 AM: car won't start; enlist friend (and friend's car) to distribute matchbooks throughout city.
10:00 AM - 6:00 PM: distribute matchbooks to the following stores:
Skylight Books
Counterpoint Records & Books
Book Soup
Stories
Metropolis Books
Sunday, 1/24/10, 11:00 AM: return to car, install new spark plugs; car still won't start.
11:00 AM - 6:00 PM: check/adjust the following:
distributor and rotor
points and timing
valves
gas and carburetor
battery
No dice.
Monday, 1/25/10, 6:55 AM: call supervisor, inform that I'm stranded in L.A. and won't make work.
7:00 AM - 8:00 AM: panic, ask myself, "In order to get home today, do I...
a) buy new parts, install, and maybe solve car problem, or
b) tow car to mechanic and let the experts do their thing?
9:30 AM: tow car to E&C Motors in Reseda.
10:30 AM - 11:30 AM: stump veteran VW mechanic with mysterious car problem, think, "Will I ever get home?"
11:30 AM: try last possible solution--car STARTS!
11:30 AM - 6:OO PM: after driving 6.5 hours on the 101N through intermittent rain, arrive home on 4 cylinders, -2 windshield wipers, and 0 heat.
Big thanks are sincerely given to the following friends and saviors:
Owen & Emily, for cool-headed advise, a blow-up mattress, and whiskey.
Rob & Anat, for transportation, navigation, conversation, and libation.
Leagh, for cellular roadside assistance.
Brandon, for cellular roadside assurance.
Natalie, for holding it all together.
Keep On Keeping On,
-kp
Sunday, January 10, 2010
CALL FOR SUBMISSIONS!
Happy New Year, all!
It's official: Matchbook Story is up 'n running. After a year of planning, web design, layout and production, I've just returned from a distribution run to the Bay Area where the following bookstores have agreed to carry the magazine. Many thanks to...
Bookshop Santa Cruz
City Lights Books
Green Apple Books
Diesel, and
Moe's
But this is only the beginning. I'm heading down to LA at the end of the month to hit up the independents down there, and Matchbook has landed on the east coast thanks to some smuggler-friends. So things are moving, and I'm feeling good.
UPDATE: due to some minor delays, the deadline for Issue no. 1 is now March 1st. Please note.
In other news, Matchbook Story recently made headlines in TheStorymatic.com. The Storymatic is a writing prompt/teaching tool/parlor game/toy consisting of 500 business-sized cards containing (half) characters and (half) plot points. For the last few months, I've been using The Storymatic to generate matchbook stories, test the 300 character limit, and generally explore the form. I've had serious fun using The Storymatic, so I contacted its creator, Brian Mooney, to let him know. Glad for the feedback, and excited by the new magazine, Brian kindly plugged Matchbook Story in the mid-December posts of The Storymatic's Featured Artist blog. Check it out. Much thanks to Brian--for his support, enthusiasm, and endlessly fun and useful writing prompt.
Stay tuned for future posts...
Fire away!
-kp
It's official: Matchbook Story is up 'n running. After a year of planning, web design, layout and production, I've just returned from a distribution run to the Bay Area where the following bookstores have agreed to carry the magazine. Many thanks to...
Bookshop Santa Cruz
City Lights Books
Green Apple Books
Diesel, and
Moe's
But this is only the beginning. I'm heading down to LA at the end of the month to hit up the independents down there, and Matchbook has landed on the east coast thanks to some smuggler-friends. So things are moving, and I'm feeling good.
UPDATE: due to some minor delays, the deadline for Issue no. 1 is now March 1st. Please note.
In other news, Matchbook Story recently made headlines in TheStorymatic.com. The Storymatic is a writing prompt/teaching tool/parlor game/toy consisting of 500 business-sized cards containing (half) characters and (half) plot points. For the last few months, I've been using The Storymatic to generate matchbook stories, test the 300 character limit, and generally explore the form. I've had serious fun using The Storymatic, so I contacted its creator, Brian Mooney, to let him know. Glad for the feedback, and excited by the new magazine, Brian kindly plugged Matchbook Story in the mid-December posts of The Storymatic's Featured Artist blog. Check it out. Much thanks to Brian--for his support, enthusiasm, and endlessly fun and useful writing prompt.
Stay tuned for future posts...
Fire away!
-kp
Friday, January 1, 2010
"Pick of the Week" Archive - January 2010
FOUNDATIONS
How could he have known that as a drugged up satanic metalhead, killing and burying a cat in a building site one night so long ago with friends he’s since lost track of, that now, after 13 years as a financial advisor, to give his kids more room, he would be buying the house that stood on its grave.
Julian Baker, London, UK
__________
COUNTRY GENTLEMAN
I gave a ride to a hitchhiker today. I’ve seen him around. He hauls these trailers painted on every side with his mission statement: “Follow Your Heart”. He's a black guy who “woke up” after Katrina, has dedicated himself to bringing supplies to New Orleaners. I'm gonna donate my Christmas money.
Daren Commons, Santa Cruz, CA
__________
THE LAST CIGARETTE
As he finally caught a first dim glimpse of the cave's fabled wonders, Roger thought he'd earned a smoke for his travails. As he greedily put a cigarette to his lips, he tried to recall Evans' warning about the place. Too late, he realized it might have had something to do with matches.
Seana Graham, Santa Cruz, CA
How could he have known that as a drugged up satanic metalhead, killing and burying a cat in a building site one night so long ago with friends he’s since lost track of, that now, after 13 years as a financial advisor, to give his kids more room, he would be buying the house that stood on its grave.
Julian Baker, London, UK
__________
COUNTRY GENTLEMAN
I gave a ride to a hitchhiker today. I’ve seen him around. He hauls these trailers painted on every side with his mission statement: “Follow Your Heart”. He's a black guy who “woke up” after Katrina, has dedicated himself to bringing supplies to New Orleaners. I'm gonna donate my Christmas money.
Daren Commons, Santa Cruz, CA
__________
THE LAST CIGARETTE
As he finally caught a first dim glimpse of the cave's fabled wonders, Roger thought he'd earned a smoke for his travails. As he greedily put a cigarette to his lips, he tried to recall Evans' warning about the place. Too late, he realized it might have had something to do with matches.
Seana Graham, Santa Cruz, CA
Tuesday, December 1, 2009
Frequently Asked Questions
Hello All!
Matchbook Story is all fired up and ready to go. Submissions stream in daily as the deadline for issue no. 1 (February 1st) fast approaches. Some questions have come up along the way, and I've consolidated them below (avec answers) for your convenience. Of course, if these don't answer your question, riddle me freely at editor@matchbookstory.com.
Q: So, you're publishing just ONE super short story on a whole lotta matchbooks?
A: You betcha! Three hundred characters MAX.
Q: And you're only publishing ONE super short story on a whole lotta matchbooks quarterly, as in every three months?
A: That's right. However, as submissions increase, and Matchbook Story builds, I plan to publish more stories more often. I think every other month would be swell.
Q: So, you're not like some rich dude with extra cash to blow on some pet lit zine?
A: No, I'm a writer, like you, with an interest in new forms and formats, and a desire to meet folks who enjoy this stuff. I make my money reading meters for the Water Dept. 40 hours/week.
Q: So, like, what kind of story are you looking for and stuff?
A: Ouch! Shoot, I don't know. Wait. That's not true: CONFLICT (1.) and CHANGE (2.) are the minimum for a story, says I! How you go about skinnin' that cat is up to you, and I'm waaay open to suggestions. There's lots of discussion on this subject (what makes a story--especially a short short story--a story), and the primary purpose of this blog is to hash that out, but I'm a believer in the two C's, and won't be shaken. That said, you can stir some bourbon into my milk anytime (more later).
Q: Does that mean you're kinda old school with grammar and punctuation and whatnot?
A: Yeah, kinda. I like two spaces after a period, period. Don't write "with" with "w/." Matchbook Story does not accept text messages. I think that about covers it.
Q: Where can I find Matchbook Story?
A: Check the website.
Q: Will Matchbook Story have readings and release parties?
A: Yes. Please come.
Q: You didn't answer my question--where can I write you?
A: editor@matchbookstory.com
Fire away!
-KP
Matchbook Story is all fired up and ready to go. Submissions stream in daily as the deadline for issue no. 1 (February 1st) fast approaches. Some questions have come up along the way, and I've consolidated them below (avec answers) for your convenience. Of course, if these don't answer your question, riddle me freely at editor@matchbookstory.com.
Q: So, you're publishing just ONE super short story on a whole lotta matchbooks?
A: You betcha! Three hundred characters MAX.
Q: And you're only publishing ONE super short story on a whole lotta matchbooks quarterly, as in every three months?
A: That's right. However, as submissions increase, and Matchbook Story builds, I plan to publish more stories more often. I think every other month would be swell.
Q: So, you're not like some rich dude with extra cash to blow on some pet lit zine?
A: No, I'm a writer, like you, with an interest in new forms and formats, and a desire to meet folks who enjoy this stuff. I make my money reading meters for the Water Dept. 40 hours/week.
Q: So, like, what kind of story are you looking for and stuff?
A: Ouch! Shoot, I don't know. Wait. That's not true: CONFLICT (1.) and CHANGE (2.) are the minimum for a story, says I! How you go about skinnin' that cat is up to you, and I'm waaay open to suggestions. There's lots of discussion on this subject (what makes a story--especially a short short story--a story), and the primary purpose of this blog is to hash that out, but I'm a believer in the two C's, and won't be shaken. That said, you can stir some bourbon into my milk anytime (more later).
Q: Does that mean you're kinda old school with grammar and punctuation and whatnot?
A: Yeah, kinda. I like two spaces after a period, period. Don't write "with" with "w/." Matchbook Story does not accept text messages. I think that about covers it.
Q: Where can I find Matchbook Story?
A: Check the website.
Q: Will Matchbook Story have readings and release parties?
A: Yes. Please come.
Q: You didn't answer my question--where can I write you?
A: editor@matchbookstory.com
Fire away!
-KP
Monday, November 2, 2009
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)
